The Bigger Picture

For many of us on the front lines life has become incredibly hectic.  Our vision has narrowed to the many burning issues right in front of us, often measured in terms of the next few hours or at best looking ahead one day.  There are larger issues that need some of our attention as well.

For my friends living outdoors life has changed for the worse.  They are used to being shoved aside. They have never been shoved aside this hard and this completely.  A short laundry list:

• Day use areas are closed.  The Library, fast food spots, day shelters, PSU – literally all of their gathering places.  Tuesday it started raining and there was nowhere better than a doorway to get out of the wet.
• Drinking fountains, both indoor and outdoor, have been shut off for health reasons.  It is now very difficult to get drinking water. The main option is bathroom sinks, and that’s not exactly more healthy.

• No one is aware of a shower provider that is still operating for them.
• For reasons no one can fathom all of the known outdoor power outlets have been turned off.  Coupled with the indoor closures above that means my friends are unable to recharge their phones and other devices.
• Without power, and without Library computers or indoor wifi hotspots, my friends are cut off from information.  With rumors flying there is now no way to find out which are true and which are crazy.

At our usual burrito handout Tuesday evening I invited everyone to spread out (social distancing) and I walked around checking in with people.  I heard stories of worry, stress, and increased violence. The fabric of community, always fragile with this part of our culture, has unraveled.  They are feared by those around them, locked out of every indoor space they were used to, and handed “grab and go” meals and told to leave. This combination of loss of resources and increased rejection has left them with zero ability to focus on the virus and staying safe.  They are too busy trying to stay alive.

“Stay at home” is hard for those of us with a home.  For my friends “stay at home” means no water, no food, no bathroom or shower, no electricity, and various degrees of shelter from the elements.  It is not a survivable option. Now the city is threatening to arrest them for moving around. That’s not entirely true, but that is the message they have perceived.  They are damned if they stay put and damned if they try to find help.

At present the city has shelter space for about 1000 people.  By their own count, which everyone acknowledges is not complete, there are 2000 people living outdoors in this city.  Add to that the unknown number of vehicle campers, the uncounted, and the expected newly homeless, and you see the problem.  Does anyone see a solution? I don’t.  HOMEpdx, and a small coalition of partner churches and agencies, are doing what we can.  We have ramped up to providing 8 meals a week, and it’s been exhausting but worth it.  We have ramped up to providing food boxes for 11 subsidized housing buildings downtown as well as food bags for those living outdoors, literally more than a ton of food this first week. 

Just as important, we are looking for and leaning into ways to interact with our friends as friends, as real human beings. We are staying to talk, listening to stories, using our smartphones to fact check rumors, and providing additional resources when we can.  We’ve bought cases of water to hand out, supplied what few showers we can (about 12 a week), and let people charge electronics while they’re with us.

My heart for my people is breaking.  I wish I could do so much more, and I mean way more than food and supplies, though that’s important too.  I wish I could take hands or give hugs (whatever people are comfortable with) and let everyone know that they are as much a child of God, and of as much value, as I am.  With the virus I can’t, or at least shouldn’t, be touching people. As an ambassador of the Kingdom I so very much need to. I’m torn in half.  

Yesterday one of my toughest friends was released from jail, in part to allow for social distancing in that disaster-waiting-to-happen place.  He found me downtown and for the first time ever grabbed me in a bear hug. I had no time to step back or say something about social distance – and I was glad, actually happy, because having already been drawn in I was able to hug him back (no additional exposure in that).  It may end up being the only hug I get this week.

This is not a request for donations or volunteers.  People are doing that as they are led and it has been really helpful.  This started as a chance to unload some of my thoughts. If you’ve read this far perhaps you’ve felt some of what I’m feeling.  In the bigger picture what we need right now are advocates. We need people with a voice saying to those in power that they’re missing something in their rush to respond to the virus.  They’re neglecting, powerfully neglecting, a group of human beings very much in need. Water is crucial. Access to power is access to information and connection. Instead of herding these people like cattle we need to treat them as humans and respond to what they actually need rather than what we think they need.

For my part I have chosen to remain downtown.  I’m living in a church amazing enough to host me so I can be in the midst of my people through this crisis.  I am living stupid (by the world’s standards) by staying close to the danger rather than running away and hiding.  My people need advocates. We need community and connection as much as we need food and water. Yes, I said “we” on purpose.  The founding document of our country starts with the words “We the people.” The foundation of my faith includes the command to love our neighbors as ourselves.  Either we live that out or we are not Americans and not Christians. I’m sorry if that stings. I live among the stung, so there it is.